


So Let's Close Our Eyes And We'll Talk In The Morning

by smokeandjollyranchers



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, You guys that episode hurt so bad and I had to write out some fall out after that last hour, left it pretty vague since there could be so many things at play I don't even know where to start, sometimes that's okay, sometimes you fight with your best friend, spoilers for episode 48
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeandjollyranchers/pseuds/smokeandjollyranchers
Summary: "His eyes fly open, hands nearly coming up to cover his face, but he resists the urge, remembering he’s in the back of the cart. He’s in the back of the cart, they’re a few miles into the woods from Felderwind, and Beau’s iron grasp is still grasped around his coat. As quiet as he can, he allows himself one staggering breath before forcing his breathing to return to normal.They think he’s going to run."Spoilers for Episode 48. Nott and Caleb take a second to talk before everything gets so so so much worse





	So Let's Close Our Eyes And We'll Talk In The Morning

Caleb shifts in his sleep ever so slightly, and Beau’s heavy hand falls on his back. 

His eyes fly open, hands nearly coming up to cover his face, but he resists the urge, remembering he’s in the back of the cart. He’s in the back of the cart, they’re a few miles into the woods from Felderwind, and Beau’s iron grasp is still grasped around his coat. As quiet as he can, he allows himself one staggering breath before forcing his breathing to return to normal.

They think he’s going to run.

_ He wants to run so badly _ .

He could be gone so quickly, he would drop everything. Drop this name, drop this face, he would look completely different, and he would be gone again, escaping, hiding, but alive. It was too close today, those archmages could’ve taken one look at their cart and known it was enchanted. An enchantment is suspicious for a group of fucking villagers, and  _ it’s only a few steps from them to Trent _ .

The knot in his stomach only tightens, and he feels his insides clench. He can feel himself wanting to puke again, but he’s trapped in the monk’s grip. Caleb carefully tries to free himself from his coat, and Beau’s hand miraculously lets go as she readjusts in her sleep. Quickly, he slips from the coat, leaving the tattered leather for Beau to grasp again. Once he hears her fingers clench in the fabric, he  _ so, so carefully  _  gets down from the cart. Caleb freezes every single time he hears a noise, but the rest of the group keeps sleeping. The several long days of travel have worn them all out, and they sleep pretty soundly now.

Caleb wanders about a half mile away and drops to his knees, puking again. He’s got nothing left in his stomach, but he dry heaves for a few minutes, until the clenching finally stops. He falls onto his back, staring up at the sky through the trees. He knows enough about the Academy, about Trent to be  _ horrified _ for Yeza, but he doesn’t know enough about the dodecahedron to know if it keeps him safe now. He doesn’t know enough about anything to be helpful.

_ You know you need to run. _

There’s that voice again. Caleb can’t tell if it’s Ikathon’s voice, or if it’s his. He just knows he hears it, loud and demanding. If he stays, they’re all going to die. There’s so much blood on Caleb’s hands already, he isn’t sure if he could handle having his friends’ there too.

There’s a sound behind him and Caleb sits up, already mumbling a spell. He lets it die on his lips when he sees the small, huddled form of Nott, her eyes glowing in the darkness. Slowly, Caleb lowers his hand, and turns to face her. She takes a pull off her flask, and comes towards him.

“Are you running?”

“No.” Caleb sighs, crossing his legs. “I would like to, but I won’t do that to you.”  _ Or without you _ hangs between them and Nott comes to sit next to him, handing him her flask. He takes it, drinking heavily before he returns it to her. Up close, he can see the bags under her eyes, and how bloodshot they are. “You didn’t tell me you had a son.”

Nott takes another long drink, hands shaking. “There’s a lot I try not to think about, it’s hard to be away, it’s hard to be like this. It was safer for them if no one knew about them. I’m not the most popular goblin out there.” She gives the flask back to him, and he takes another drink.

“I’m sorry,” He tells her, taking another long drink from the flask, until the ice in his blood warms with the whiskey. “I...I will tell you everything I can, I  _ want _ to help you find him. But if he’s with Ikathon...He’ll kill us all, Nott. Violently, and without prejudice. I don’t want that for you, for any of them.”

Nott takes her flask back, and drinks, for a couple minutes. Then she sets the flask down, and rests her head against his shoulder. “I don’t hate you, Caleb. You know that right?”

Caleb wraps his arm around Nott, and he holds her for a couple minutes. Nott lets him, and he isn’t sure if he can hear her sniffling, but he keeps his eyes closed. Only a few days ago he had told her that she was the dearest friend that he had, and it’s true. She’s his closest friend, and he can’t believe what radical string of fate tied them together this way. “I know that. You’re allowed to be angry, even if it is at me.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at... _ everything _ .” Nott hisses the last word, and Caleb barks out a laugh.

“ _ Ja _ , I understand that. Anger is easy to maintain, it’ll keep you alive.”

Nott chugs a few more drinks, then looks up at him. “I’m sorry I outed you. I really...I wasn’t thinking straight and I was just worried about them, and...it wasn’t fair. That was shitty of me.”

“It’s alright.” Caleb whispers, then tries again. “It’s alright. Beau will block them for a little while. Maybe they won’t ask, maybe they didn’t catch it.”

Nott nods, and curls into his side a little more. “Do you think Yeza is dead?”

Caleb stiffens, and reaches for her flask. Nott hands it to him, and waits patiently for him to drink. Caleb can feel the drink in his veins now, with nothing in his stomach, this really wasn’t his best idea. “I don’t know. If the Krynn took him? They took him because he had a beacon. Or, they took him because he knows where to find it again.”

“And if the Academy has him?”

“If he can pull the magic from the beacon and refine it? He’s alive, they won’t let that kind of talent get away. Not until he’s perfected it. That note said they wanted him to produce batches over the next year or so.”

“We don’t know when that was written.”

“We don’t.” Caleb admits. “But there was only one of those vials that they saved, so it couldn’t have been too long ago. We’ll find him...one way or another.”

Nott looks up at him, a blank look on her face. “Would you be able to go with me? To get him back?”

Caleb sighs, not able to meet her eyes. “If we go there, he  _ will _ kill me. I’m a very frayed loose end, and he won’t lose me a second time. But...it might be enough for you to get him out. I don’t want to die, but for you, I’m willing to take the chance.”

“I don’t want you to die, either.” Nott whispers, her fingers wrapping around the flask. “I don’t want him to die. I don’t want this to be reality.”

“I know. I don’t either, I’m sorry it’s turned out this way.”

“Me too,” Nott tells him, looking back at him. “But it isn’t your fault. It’s mine, and it’s Yeza’s a little bit. We did something bad a long time ago, and now we’re paying for it.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“No,” She sighs, closing her eyes. “Not yet. But I will. I promise.”

“We can talk about everything, in the morning.” Caleb tells her. Nott nods, and stands up, waiting for Caleb to follow her.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, Nott blowing up at Caleb in the basement was such a character defining moment for me, I HAD to expand on it. I have NO IDEA where Sam is going with ANY of this but I'm so excited. I haven't hated a cliffhanger this bad in a LONG time. Is it mother fucking Thursday yet?


End file.
